Thursday, May 8, 2014

when the little one throws a fit

Taming the temper tantrum[s]. What to even say? Probably it would be best by starting with the fact that I am by no means an expert on the matter. However, I will share what seems to work for us, at least for now [and I hope to learn lots of new tricks and ideas from all you other mamas!].  

With Emerson, I think the main reason he throws a fit is because he isn't getting what he wants. Be it me telling him, "No, do not eat the electrical cord/rock/stick/chalk," or "you have to take turns playing with the Little People train conductor." If he doesn't get what he wants he has started throwing little fits. It's super fun and a good thing I don't really care if he screams about not getting his way. Anyhow, there are a few things I do that seem to help calm him down [for now]... 


let him cry/scream - usually the fit won't even last a minute, but I let him cry and fuss all he wants before he either calms down or decides he wants something else on his own. When he is done with his fit I'll ask him if he wants to play or read something, he usually always does. 

ignore him - sometimes I just turn my face or bury my head in a blanket or something so I don't see him and he can't see me. The crying stops pretty much as soon as he realizes I'm not watching him. Once or twice he's moved so he is in my line of sight and starts to throw a little fit again, but I close my eyes or something and he stops. 

let him figure it out - if he and his little buddy are bickering over a toy or book I sometimes [maybe more often than I should] just let them figure it out. They seem to screech at each other while pulling an object from the other's hand and then it's done. Usually though, I'll be a good mom/babysitter and intervene by helping them take turns, but sometimes I just let them try and figure it out on their own. 

example: the other day Emerson and Bee wanted the same toy. E won their little battle and when Bee was still crying about it he picked up another toy and held it out to her like she won the grand prize, and then threw it in her lap for her. They both happily played with their respective toys [until it happened again two minutes later...] 


distract him - I do this one a lot. If he wants something he can't or shouldn't have, I offer him a new fun and exciting book or toy. Sometimes I'll ask him if he can go get a ball, book, train, or some other toy for me. He will usually go and get said object and bring it to me. Then we'll play with it or read together. 

be consistent - this is one that I have to work the hardest on. I know that Emerson is learning and exploring and all that, but there have to be boundaries and I have to teach him what those are. Every day he challenges me and I have to be firm and tell him no, over and over until he understands he can't open the oven door or whatever else it is he wants to do. Even though this is the most difficult one, I feel like it may also be one of the most important ones. He needs to learn from an early age to obey and to have manners. This is the part of parenting that I think is the hardest. 

--

I know he throws little fits now, and they aren't fun. But since we're on the topic, I have to say, I am just a little worried for when he gets to be a little bit older. Apparently his daddy had quite the attitude/behavior issues/temper when he was a little one... oh. dear. goodness. His behavior was so horrible apparently, that his family sometimes jokes that they hope Emerson is just like that for him -you know, some payback or something. It's not a funny joke. I tell them each and every time they kid around about it that it is a horrible thing to wish on anyone -and that his Daddy doesn't even stay at home with him, I do, so pray and wish he is well behaved and learns his manners.  

I can't wait to hear and read about all of your super tricks and tips when it comes to taming a tantrum. The more you share the better we can all benefit! :) 



Come link up with us every Thursday and share your wisdom. Also, come check out our mamas who have some wisdom of their own.
From Here to EternityWords About Waverly
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My Delicious Adventure                  The Life Of Faith
Running From The LawThe Olive Tree
Running From The Law             The Olive Tree          

May 8:          Taming the Temper Tantrums
May 15:        Weaning from Breastfeeding or From Formula to Cow’s Milk 
May 22:        Dealing with Mommy Guilt
May 29:        When People Share Their Opinions and How to Lovingly Handle it
June 5:         Traveling with your Toddler
June 12:       How to get your toddler to eat their veggies…or their food at all
June 19:       How to make time to blog in the busyness of motherhood
June 26:       Bedtime Battles (nap or bedtime)

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7 comments:

Alisha said...

The tantrums are just beginning at our house, and my goodness... it is tough sometimes!! I pretty much do the same things you do, Alex will try to get my attention when I ignore him, so right now that or distraction works the best.

Jamie @ The Jamie's + 1 said...

Ha! What your husbands family says sounds like something my in laws would say... drives me crazy!! I hope it gets easier for you... I have a 20 month old and the terrible twos are NOT FUN!! Best wishes!

Courtney B said...

Those rotten in laws... ha ha! It's funny for them to make the joke but totally different when you're the one that has to deal with it day in and day out!
I laughed when you said he will get back in your line of sight and start crying again. Kids, man!! They are so smart!
I reallllllly want to let Mia start figuring it out more on her own with playing with other kids, but I don't want to be "that mom" that doesn't step in (or whatever) and have everyone avoid us. I need to find a friend who is on the same page as me so that our kids can learn together!

Christina Schergen said...

great tips! so funny about eating things..my youngest loves chalk lol :)

KelseyB said...

Toddlers are a trip! I do pretty much all the same things with my boys. But some tantrums are just too good not to have a good laugh as a parent.

Heather Leigh @ Like a Morning cup of coffee said...

oh kids! i think it's so funny how kids love to eat and explore with chalk and who else knows what but we gotta almost force veggies and things we actually want them to eat down their throat lol

Sara McCarty said...

Great tips. I hope for your sake he takes after you and not your husband in that department. Both my parents and my husband's parents say we were both really good babies/toddlers, so I'm not sure where Mac gets his explosive personality!