Wednesday, June 18, 2014

a visit with my sister and some attachment issues

Last Thursday the hubs and I packed up our car and little family and drove off for a long weekend. It seems that any time we are off visiting friends or family I never get around to blogging. Even though I had some free time the past few days I didn't have a computer to use so I just took some naps and read a book instead. I enjoy both of those things perfectly so I can't complain too much, though I did miss blogging. 

Our visit started at one of my sister's house. We got in Thursday afternoon and stayed until after lunch the following day. It's the first time in over a year we have been able to spend that much time together. We'd seen each other at Christmas and over Spring Break and such, but the visits were short with lots of other distractions: other family, presents, Christmas festivities or walking around a museum and trying to wrangle all the kids. Not a lot of time to just hang out and chit chat about this and that. 

It was nice to really be able to visit with her and her family. Her kiddos are so big now, it is crazy how fast they grow up. I know I say that all the time with Emerson, but I feel like her babies were just babies too, and now they are in second grade and kindergarten! Where does the time go?!

For Christmas they got a dog: an English Mastiff. We thought it would be so cute for Emerson to take a little ride on her, but he wasn't too keen about her. ha. He loves his Boady... it's just a shame Boady doesn't love him the same and isn't as gentle with him as other dogs are.


 little cousins. 

We were able to enjoy lots of time outside playing, a few nice meals together, and lots of visiting before we said good-bye. It was a short but very sweet little visit.  

After stopping to visit some more family and meet a sweet new baby boy, we got to my in-law's house in time for dinner that evening. Every time we come in for a visit all of Landon's family is sure to stop by at least twice to see us Emerson. That boy has an audience for everything he does while we are in.

It's always good to see family and for Emerson to have loads of attention, but at the same time it makes me even more thankful for our little family of three and the times we get to have together each and every day.

Maybe it's because I grew up far away from my extended family and rarely ever saw them or that I only see my parents once every two years that I am sometimes overwhelmed by all of the family making over Emerson when we go in to visit. Or maybe it's because I'm used to quiet days at home with just me and E that I am overwhelmed by the constant attention and audience. I love that he is loved and adored, but sometimes I miss the quiet -so I guess it's a good thing I'm a homebody? When we are with the hubs' family I often feel as though I'm not allowed to see or hold Emerson. Well, maybe I can see him, but to hold him.... it's like I can't. He is snatched out of my arms, even when he wants me more than anyone else [which I have to admit: I love]. One afternoon he woke from his nap and when I took him out to where everyone was visiting he just wrapped his arms tight around my neck and laid his head in the crook of my neck. He didn't want to let go or move. He wanted to cuddle with me, which he never does - I loved it. But sooner than he or I wanted, he was ripped from my arms and taken away to the other side of the yard. Maybe I'm the crazy overbearing mama who has issues letting go of him or something. I just feel like, I should be able to hold my baby if I want to.

I love the family I have been so warmly welcomed into, but sometimes these feelings come up. I pray for a gentle spirit and to be chill about everything, but sometimes....  Am I crazy? Probably. Have any of you had similar feelings? please tell me I'm the only one... How is your family with your little one[s]? Do you get to visit family often? Do they live next door? Far away?


Alisha said...

First of all, you are absolutely not crazy and most definitely not the only one! My husband's family is very similar to the way your in-laws are. I hate that I can't cuddle my baby, and we only live an hour and a half away, it's not like they never get to see Alex. When he was born, we had visitors for 23 hours straight... it was terrible, I barely got to hold my newborn. (I am still a touch resentful that they wouldn't listen to what I wanted with my baby at the time). It is hard, with my family, I feel like I can be more stern, and/or my mom can just read my face and know what I want. You love that your little guy has so many people that love him... but, you want some time too! I feel you, sweet girl. If you come up with a solution, please let me know! :)

Meghan said...

I get that vibe at my inlaws too. They think he's too attached to me and make it sound like a bad thing. In bigger crowds and new situations Noah likes to stay close to me so he knows everything will be alright. Totally normal in my opinion.

kelseylynae said...

Well, I do like cuddling my babies, don't get me wrong-- but I LOVE watching my family, and Brent's love them and cuddle them…and more than that, I RELISH the break it gives me. I like our days at home too, with just the girls and me, but if they want to pop over or we swing by there? Great! And quite often someone shows up and just asks to take Blythe: whether it be to the gas station, or on their other errands, or to their house quickly-- as long as it isn't nap time, I usually oblige because the extra quiet is kind of nice for a few minutes ;)

However, I see how it would be different if you always had to visit and be somewhere for awhile. For us, we are rarely at our parents for more than a few hours at a time, and then we are back home. I can see that it would be MUCH harder if you are there for an extended period.

I think the child makes a difference too. Blythe is so very social, she rarely notices when I'm not around, and often when someone stops to see her, she goes and gets her backpack because she thinks she's going to get to leave with them! At first this made me a little sad, but now I see that it is just her personality. I was a hugely social kid and teenager…I think she is just starting young and doesn't need me as much! Some of my sister's kids definitely need to touch base with her more: a snuggle here, a book read with their mama there… I can see E being more like that :)

Amy said...

You are not alone sweet girl. I've had a few issues with my husband's family {more specifically} his Mom, since Cash has been born. It's been a constant struggle & the kicker is they only live 8 minutes away. What I've learned in these past two years, is to be sure that I hold my own & in a positive/nice way. If Cash wants me, I make sure that I'm there for him. It's been a lot of work on my part. I still struggle with issues that I need to let go of from when Cash was a newborn. I'm not really quite sure where I'm going with this ramble, but just know that you aren't alone. :)