Tuesday, August 12, 2014

a one year anniversary

Saturday marked one year of living in Illinois for us. One year ago on Saturday we looked around our house for the very last time, we said good-bye to our friends, family, church, and small group -to our life, and drove 235 some miles to a new place. A place where we didn't know a soul or what would be in store for us -I mean, we knew Landon would be in school and I would be babysitting ... but apart from that? And it's like I hadn't moved before, but this move was different... 

This past year has gone by quickly and slowly at the same time. Emerson was a little rolling and kicking six month old when we got here, now he's a running and climbing eighteen month old. It is crazy to think we have only been here for a year, it feels like so much longer. The days are long and lonely, quiet but busy. 


We hoped and prayed to find a good small group and to make friends when we moved here. The truth is, we still haven't gotten into a group or found friends. We hang out with just the three [or two if Landon is working] of us. While it is a blessing for me to be able to stay home and babysit, it limits a lot of what I can do -namely going out and being involved in 'mommy groups'. And obviously, since I'm working in the home, I'm not meeting other people I would if I were teaching somewhere. Not that I feel like I could go back to teaching right now.


Over this past year I feel like I've been on a roller coster of emotions. I'm glad Landon is here pursuing his dream and calling, I try to support him and be encouraging, and I have tried to not complain as much around him. We are where we are and life is what it is. But sometimes, I just want to go back to our old life, even though I know that would be different too. I feel like most days I have come to terms with living here, though I have my days... I have started to be more accepting of the fact that we live here for now, that I have no friends, that we don't have a small group to fellowship with, that I spend my days alone [with a baby or two],  that there is no one I can call up and see if they would go get a coffee with me, that this is my life. That this is what it is. 

I guess God is growing me [I'm sure he is...], I just sometimes wish that he would share his plans with me. But, I guess that's what makes him God and me ... me. I'm learning to be content whatever the circumstances, to have faith, to trust. Oh, such hard lessons. Lessons that will take a life time to learn. But for now, that's all I have. That's all I can do. Trust. And hope for what is to come. ...and try not to question too much the why are we here, God? ... 


2 comments:

Lauren said...

oh girl, I'm in a season of waiting as well. It's a little different than yours, but hard nonetheless. Praying that you will find a group of friends that can offer you encouragement and support very soon!

kelseylynae said...

It's very hard. It took us over a year and a half in Louisville to feel we had friends…just in time to move :(. And here? Though we had family right away, and knew a lot of people, we were still aching for meaningful friendships-- JUST in the past year when we listened to God prompting us to a different church and really diving in there have we begun to make lasting friendships with people our age in the same stage of life. It will take time, but I know there is something amazing for you two in this season. Hang in there-- I know the days at home can be very lonely, even though you're needed every moment!