Thursday, August 14, 2014

thoughts on having another baby

For the majority of our marriage Landon and I have somehow evaded the question "when are you going to have a baby?" by nearly every one. One of my sisters was the only one who would ever ask me directly [or not so subtly hint at it] and my parents would make a remark about grandchildren this or that every now and again. I would just laugh and change the subject. I remember one time Landon's mom commented on how we looked like we would make great parents when I was holding one of my nephews -but it seemed so unnatural, even as she said it, I think she felt like she was just saying it because that's what parents say. She even told us one time that the "proper" response to that question is, "We practice every day," or something like that, to which Landon was especially mortified. Anyhow, my point: we didn't get asked much at all. 

Even now that we have Emerson we aren't asked too often. My sister is [again] the only person who really asks me or hints at it. She has even started asking Emerson if he wants a baby brother or a baby sister. I don't really mind her asking, she's my sister, it's all in love, and just I roll my eyes and change the subject. My parents have commented on it once or so and my mom-in-law said when they were visiting us last time that they would take another just like Emerson any day. But that's it. All to which I immediately change the subject [and maybe sometimes roll my eyes]. So mature of me, I know. 

Maybe it's because we don't know a lot of people here or because we waited to share the news of our first pregnancy until I was further along than the "normal" sharing time that people don't ask. Or maybe it's because we just have the best friends and family and they know that it is a really personal question. But we really don't get asked when we think we'll have another. 

It is such a personal decision, I think most everyone can agree with that. And there are so many things to consider: how far apart in age you want your children to be? are you ready for more sleepless nights? can you "afford" it? where will the baby sleep? do you want to change the 'routine' that you have finally figured out with one? will you be able to love your second baby just as much as the first one? will you have enough energy to get through the day? are you ready to be pregnant again after just getting your body back to a place you are [mostly] happy with it? -and lots more, obviously. 

Maybe some silly or selfish questions in there, but they are one's I've thought about. Let's face it: I love my sleep and not having to share my body with someone at the sound of their little wail every two hours. I digress... 

But that's why it is such a personal decision and that's why it is different for everyone. And that's why I am so thankful God has a plan for us and for our family and when it is going to grow in number. We definitely don't feel like our family is full or finished; we just don't know when the time will be when we're going add to our family. We just continue to seek Him and trust in His perfect timing for our family. 

  Hopefully you can relate to all of these Baby #2 talks this week!  Check out the other mama's blogs for even more!  And be sure to link up with us below if you also have a post on this.  

July 10:  Keeping your marriage alive with a toddler
July 17:  Favorite summer toddler activities
July 24:  Helping Your Toddler to Communicate (Words, emotions, etc.)
July 31:  Dealing with Separation Anxiety
Aug 7:    Car Trip Necessities
Aug 14:  Deciding when the time is right for baby #2 (and/or how to handle these questions)
Aug 21:  Tricks for eating out with your toddler
Aug 28:  Feeling confident as a mom (How to feel this way, Your struggle with, etc.)


Jamie @ The Jamie's + 1 said...

Visiting from the link up. Great post. I don't think any of the questions you ask yourself are selfish. I think those questions and actually thinking it all out make you very responsible. God will let you know when its time!!

Amy Will said...

Great post and those are helpful questions to ask before having more kids. My brain has somehow forgotten what it's like to have a newborn, though my son is only 17 months old. Having another child would definitely turn life upside down (again), but in the best way possible :)

Thanks for sharing on the link-up!
Amy @

kelseylynae said...

A timely post after my random email pronouncement yesterday ;). ha!

And I agree that unless they are a sibling and you know the WHOLE story, pressing people about it can not only be tacky but hurtful [I actually almost erased that part of the email yesterday, but figured I wasn't really "asking" :)].

And yes-- all of those questions are HUGE. I was scared of POST-baby round ii, but God is faithful and it has been a much quicker and easier transition.

The time will be right when the time is right and the Lord will give you the baby you NEED.

Courtney B said...

You are so lucky you rarely get asked!! The day after Mia was born, Eric's parents came to visit us at the hospital and meet her... when my mother in law asks me, "So, are you ready to have another one?!" I am sure she thought she was being funny, but in the moment I kind of wanted to slap her, ha ha!