Friday, May 29, 2015

birthdays, sleep, and coffee

Just some things....

one. birthdays. 
Over the next few days we will be celebrating a few birthdays, though most of the celebrating will be done from a distance. Both of my sisters have birthdays coming up in the next few days and one of Emerson's little friends has a birthday party we're going to on Saturday. I feel like my sister's birthdays kind of snuck up on me this year, so they will be getting belated gifts and cards. It's the thought that counts, right?

two. almost summer.
Next week there are only three days before summer is here! I am so looking forward to the days of summer and not having to babysit. I know life will be changing a lot for us very soon, and I'm sure that transition will be a little bit crazy, but it still makes me so happy to know that I will get to be at home and not have to worry about waking up early to be ready for when Bee comes to play. Summer, I will be so so happy to welcome you next week!

three. sleep problems.
Emerson started sleeping in his big boy bed in January and did so well with it. There would be a few days or nap times here and there when he would climb out of bed and not want to stay in, but in general, he did so well. He waited for us to get him in the mornings and after his nap, and stayed in his bed reading or playing with his stuffed critter buddies. Recently however, he has decided that he would rather fight sleep and now he will chase me as I leave his room at nap and bed time. I've been having to hold his door closed while he tries to pull it open from the other side, all while crying and screaming, "Mommy! Daddy! Mommy! Daddy!" It's horrible. Sometimes in the night he'll run out of his room and into ours. He has also decided to wake up before the sun and his little feet come padding into our room far too early. When he wakes up early, he's especially happy .... We are both praying that this is a little phase and that it ends very soon!

four. iced coffee. 
The other day I went to get one of my sisters a birthday present, which happened to be right where a little coffee shop was. I figured since I was there I may as well get a little something. The sun was out that day and the weather was warm so I treated myself to an iced coffee and it was oh so good. I've made iced coffee at home before, but it just doesn't taste as good when it's not in a plastic cup with a lid and straw. ha. And now, since Emerson woke up at the crack of dawn this morning, all I want to do is go out and get another one.

maybe I need to try this one :) 

five. doctor visit. 
This afternoon I get to go see the doctor. Hopefully everything is good with baby and we are able to talk about some things I have questions about. It's always so nice to hear that tiny little heartbeat, so I am looking forward to that. Hopefully it won't be too much longer until I can hold the little peanut.

I'm linking up here and here today.

Happy weekend to you all!

Thursday, May 28, 2015

thoughts on VBAC vs. repeat cesarean

During one of my first doctor's appointments I talked to my doctor about my options for having this baby: VBAC [vaginal birth after cesarean] or repeat c-section. With Emerson I was planning on having a regular birth, but that all changed very quickly when the doctor decided they needed to do a c-section right away. I was fine with that decision, whatever was best for the baby was what we were going to do. But now that I have had a c-section, I now have to choose between having another one with this baby or having a VBAC. A choice I really wish I didn't have to make. 

My doctor talked about both options with me, told me pros and cons for both, and what risk factors would be involved for both, the biggest risk for having a VBAC being uterine rupture. Although, according to The American Pregnancy Association, "the risk of uterine rupture in a vaginal delivery is .2 to 1.5%, which is approximately 1 change in 500." Not very high, but there is still a risk, and that's what gets me.  And if you choose to have a VBAC you are monitored closely and whisked quickly into the operating room for an emergency c-section should anything go wrong. But there is no way to tell in advance if a uterine rupture will happen.

For the past few months I have been thinking that I would for sure have a repeat c-section, I only talked to my doctor about it once and did little additional research on my own. However, as we get closer to meeting baby, I have been considering having a VBAC instead. My biggest hang up being the possibility for a uterine rupture, which can cause compilations for both baby and mama. I know what a c-section entails and what the recovery would look like, I know what it would be like to go in to the hospital and have a c-section. I have no idea what it would be like to go in and have a natural delivery, that along with the possible risk factors has me uncertain, now more than ever.

It would be so nice to be able to leave the hospital and be able to walk up and down the stairs at will, pick up Emerson whenever I want or need to, and be able to crawl in and out of bed by myself for that matter. It would be nice not to have to rely on other people for so much help. It was different when I had Emerson, because he was all I had to care for, but now, I'll have Emerson and a new baby and I know I will need help, as much as I hate to admit it or ask for it. I'm a pretty stubborn and independent person and hate having to rely on others to help me. It would also be nice to let the baby decide when he wants to come and not have to choose his birth date, though that has already been done.

However, it would also be nice to leave the hospital knowing that my baby and my body are healthy and that I made the right choice for us. I know that ultimately the decision is up to me and that I will have to do whatever I feel most comfortable with, but it's just something I'm trying to sort out and decide right now. So, have you been in this situation before? Have a close friend or sister who opted for one verses the other? What did you/they choose and why? Even if you didn't have to make this choice I'd still be curious to hear your thoughts.

Additional reading found here, here, and here.


Wednesday, May 27, 2015

another little weekend

I realize that today is Wednesday, but I still wanted to share a little about our weekend, mostly because I can and I always enjoy looking back on the little things that make up our life.

Saturday morning Emerson and I went grocery shopping [and he stayed dry the whole time and went potty before we left the store... so so exciting, I tell ya] and came home and did a few little chores here and there and played and read for a bit. Later that afternoon Landon's parents came in to visit for the weekend, bringing gifts for Emerson and diapers for the baby. We went for a little walk to the pond by our house and then out for dinner. The rest of the night was pretty quiet, Emerson went to bed and we stayed up talking and watching a movie for a little while.

After church on Sunday we went on another walk and then out to eat. We enjoyed a quiet afternoon, complete with naps, and then went to the petting park near our house. Emerson loved looking at all of the animals and did not want to leave, sadly for him we couldn't stay all day and we went home to fix dinner. Landon grilled some food and I cut up some fruit and we called it good.

Once Emerson was down for the night Landon and I went out for a little ice-cream date. I had been looking forward to the ice-cream date all day long, so when we got to the ice-cream shop and realized it was closed I was pretty bummed. What ice-cream shop closes at 8 in the summer?! I mean really. We ended up with another sweet treat, but it just wasn't the same as the ice-cream I had been dreaming of. It was still nice to be out of the house and have some time with just Landon.

I had been hoping that baby might decide to make his appearance over the weekend, it would have been nice, since Landon's parents were already at our house, but no such thing happened. I've been feeling similar symptoms [if you want to call it that] to those I had right before Emerson was born, which makes me think that the baby will come any time. But, now I know he's just teasing me and my body will be in discomfort until the doctor makes him come. Though, it doesn't mean I've stopped praying for him to come before that day.

Anyhow, it was a fun little weekend and we were happy to spend it with family. We didn't have any big cookouts or anything, but it was nice to just be home and see family just the same.

Monday, May 25, 2015

baby bump #2 // 37 weeks


Dear Baby Boy, 

We are at 37 weeks! It is crazy to think that you have been growing and developing for that long already. You are are getting bigger each and every day, right now you are the size of a winter melon or a swiss chard [so, about 6 pounds]. I can tell you are growing more and more, because I keep growing too! I know it's a good thing, your growing and all, but I just don't know how much bigger my belly can get. Hopefully you don't grow too much more between now and when you decide to join us in this world, little babies are nice [not that I have anything against big babies, it's just the thought of having a big baby... so yeah, stay little, jelly belly :]. 

For a while I thought you would for sure come early, now I'm thinking you will wait until the doctor says it's time and makes you come out. Though, I must say, I'm still hoping and praying that you come before then. 

This weekend your Gigi and Poppy came to visit, we went to a little petting farm park nearby and walked around a few different parks. We mostly hung out as a family and enjoyed a nice weekend together. On Saturday and Sunday I started having some stronger contractions, I'm guessing they were just strong Braxton Hick's contractions, and I've had a few since then, but nothing steady or long lasting. 

I am so anxious to meet you and hold you in my arms, but I am trying to cherish these days with you in my belly, knowing that even though they might seem like they will never come to an end, they will be over and gone all too soon and then I'll have to share you with the rest of the world. And I do know that you will have lots of visitors after you finally make your appearance into this world so the days of just us are coming to a fast end. You are already one loved little person. 

You are loved and prayed over, always. I continue to pray that you come soon and that you are healthy and strong. I pray that you will grow up knowing, loving, and trusting in Jesus and that you obey Him every day of your life. It is our prayer that you are kind, faithful, and honest, that you love others and always seek after Jesus. I pray that your transition into your family is a smooth one: for you, for your brother, and for us. I love you so much little one and I can't wait to kiss you sweet face. 

Love, Mama

Friday, May 22, 2015

animals, cake, and naps

Happy day to you! So far, today is going a lot more smoothly than yesterday, I'm just praying that continues. Anyhow, I enjoy randomness, so that's what I'm doing today... 

one. a pit stop.  
Yesterday after we left urgent care and were on our way home, Landon asked if the park with animals was open yet, I wasn't sure so we stopped by to see. It was closed, but be got to walk around the outside of the park and say hello to some friendly farm animals all just the same. We loved going to this park last summer and I'm sure we will be going just as much, if not more, this summer. Stopping was not something I would have done if I was alone with the two kids, but Emerson's daddy is fun and likes to go on little adventures, so we went. I am so glad we did, it was a nice way to wrap up a not so nice morning.

two. naps. 
After lunch we take naps around here, usually I don't nap, but every once in a while I sneak one in. Emerson was so tired when I laid him down yesterday that he fell asleep before I left his room, then he slept for two hours, a typical nap for him. When he woke up crying I went to get him and he just laid his little head on my shoulder, I love me some cuddles, so we went and sat in the rocker. He fell asleep while I rocked him, and before I knew it Landon was coming upstairs an hour later to check on him. I guess I was pretty sleepy too and didn't realize I had dozed off.

three. gooey butter cake. 
It's pretty much the best cake ever. I love finding an excuse to make it, and over the years this has slowly become Landon's favorite dessert and trumped all of his other favorites. Anyhow, I got to make one the other day for a little picnic we went on. Special treat.

four. so sleepy. 
I realized I just mentioned napping a second ago, but I can't help mentioning it again. I am so exhausted and tired these days. It's a little ridiculous. I wake up, have breakfast, clean up, play for about an hour with the munchkins, and then by nine or so I'm ready to go back to bed. It is awful. And I don't even have a baby keeping me up at night. Though I'm sure here all too soon I will be even more exhausted and I will be laughing at how I thought I was tired...

five. visitors. 
This weekend Landon's parents are coming in for a little visit, I'm not sure that we're going to do much, but we are looking forward to their visit just the same. It's always nice to see family and mix up the typical weekend.

Anyhow, happy weekend to you!

I'm linking up here and here.

Thursday, May 21, 2015

another bang

Most of our mornings are spent in the same way: eat breakfast, clean up, read books, build towers, read more books, play with some toys, go outside if the weather is nice... It's pretty simple [and can sometimes be a tad bit boring -at least, for me, which probably makes me a terrible mama for saying that, I know, but it's true]. Today started off like all of the others. Emerson, Bee, and I were upstairs playing, reading, and doing the usual when all of the sudden, something completely unusual happened [and thank the Lord it is not a usual occurrence]. 

The three of us were sitting in the little landing/hall area upstairs, Bee on a little couch type chair and Emerson on a little frog folding chair. We were all reading books and chatting about this and that, you know important toddler discussions. As we were sitting there, Emerson shifted slightly in his little chair and before I could stop it, his chair fell over. You know how you see something about to happen, but you just can't get to it fast enough? That's what this was. I could see the fall and the aftermath happen, I just couldn't reach him fast enough. When he fell, his head banged against the banister wall. I grabbed him immediately and wrapped him in a hug, holding his head close to me, trying to calm him down. After a second I looked down at my hand and where it was covering his head and saw blood. A lot of blood. 

I yelled for Landon [thank the Lord he decided to stay home today!] and he came running upstairs. I briefly told him what happened and within minutes we were buckling both babies [toddlers] into the car and were on our way to convenient care. I was praying the whole time, whispering prayers over Emerson, talking to him, trying to engage him in a little bit of conversation, I didn't want him falling asleep, and willing the cars in front of us to drive more quickly. Emerson kept saying, "Froggy chair. Fall out." Yes, sweet boy, the froggy chair fell over, I'm so sorry. 

Landon dropped Emerson and I off at the door so I could get him admitted as quickly as possible and he came in a few minutes later with Bee [again, thank the Lord he stayed home today]. I hurried inside and when the receptionist saw that I had a blood covered cloth over Emerson's head she worked on getting us in as quickly as possible. We sat and waited for two minutes or so before we were called back to see a nurse. They of course took his vitals, asked what was going on, and all that. When the nurse saw the gash on his head, she took us into the procedure room [oh, it was all too familiar] and soon after a nurse practitioner came in to see what was what. She confirmed what we already knew, he was going to need staples. I had been praying it could be sutures and not staples, but apparently, for a head injury, staples is how it's done. Makes sense, I guess. 

They cleaned and numbed the wounded area and after a while of letting the numbing gel to kick in they came in to staple the gash. And this is where sutures sound a lot more pleasant than staples. 
Emerson was a brave little boy once again and laid so still for them to complete the procedure. He did cry a little this time, though I think it was from the pressure of the staples. I can't blame him for crying. I was holding him and when they put them in I felt him press harder into me, so I can only imagine what it must have felt like to him. Poor, brave, sweet, little boy. Thankfully it only took a matter of seconds and they were done. 

He really was so brave and did so well through it all, I was so impressed and proud of him. The whole time I was praying over him. Praying for courage and a brave heart, praying for healing and little pain. Oh, my sweet boy. 

We stayed and talked with the NP who did the procedure about care instructions and other concerns we had. The assisting nurse brought in some stickers for Emerson and we were on our way. 

Emerson acted like his usual little self on the way home and ran around while he waited for lunch to be ready. Soon after lunch he hit a wall and was so tired. We rocked for a while and then I laid him down in his bed, praying for sweet rest and healing. Oh, how I love that boy. 

Oh, my goodness sakes. I still feel awful about the whole thing, but am so thankful we were able to get to the doctor quickly and that he was seen immediately. And I am so thankful that Landon had decided to stay home. He almost drove to campus today, which would have left us stranded at home and deemed an ambulance ride necessary. So thankful he was home - for his steady and clear mind, his fast driving skills, and his comfort to both Emerson and me.

This visit to the doctor makes for our second emergency visit with Emerson, the first being on New Year's Day. He's not even two and a half... Oh, Lord, protect us and keep us safe. My heart cannot handle these kinds of doctor visits.

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

rained out of the park

The end of the semester is here. Landon is finishing up his classes and will soon have all summer to lay back and do nothing work on his research. As a way to celebrate the end of the year his department had a little picnic at the park on Friday evening for all of the students and professors. Landon asked if we would go with him, and since it was going to be at a really nice park we agreed and Emerson was very excited at the thought of going on a picnic. After his nap he got ready and we went to get Landon so we could play at the park and have a little picnic. 

Unfortunately for us it started raining as we got to the park and then a storm came in, so there was no playing on the park and we stayed under the cover of a covered picnic area [I'm not really sure what the official name for that is]. Poor little Emerson didn't understand that we couldn't play on the park because of the storm, and it was so hard to be there and not let him play. Instead we ate some food, talked to a few people, and went home. Last year they had a picnic as well, but Emerson and I stayed home for reasons I couldn't remember until we got to the picnic: I don't know anyone in Landon's program. I may have seen a face or two before, but it's alway just a "hi" and that's it. So, it makes for some great conversations and times. Plus, they're all engineers and for some reason, that's kind of all they talk about at these gatherings: engineering stuff. Anyhow, it was fun to do something a little different on a Friday evening.  

Saturday was spent getting little chores done here and there. Our neighborhood was having a neighborhood yard sale, so we looked around in hopes of finding a few good things. Our neighborhood didn't have any great sales at all, but the neighborhood across the street was on the money. So many yard sales! I wanted to walk around the neighborhood all morning, but instead we drove around looking for a few things here and there, stopping if we saw something that stuck out to us. At one house we stopped to look at a double stroller and they had several toys out front. Emerson developed a quick fondness for a little lawn mower they had. We aren't the type to buy things for our kid [sorry, Emerson], but he seemed to be having fun with the lawn mower and he doesn't really have any outdoor toys, so we asked the lady how much she wanted for it - $1. Um, yes please. He has since mowed our living room floor countless times and the back yard at least a dozen times. ...if only the thing really worked! :) One of the things I was on the look out for was a baby play mat. We used my sister's with Emerson, but have since had to give it back. I had looked at some in the stores and online, and they are not cheap! After looking around for a little while I thought I spotted one so I went to check and saw that it was similar to the one I had been eyeing online. It had all the pieces and looked to be in good shape so I snatched it up for $8. When we got home I had to look it up to see if it was like the one I wanted, it was, but it was the even nicer/more expensive one! Snap. Those deals made my day. 

That evening we had plans to meet some friends at the same park we were rained out of the night before. Sadly, it was storming again, so we were confined to playing inside. At least Emerson was able to play with his little friend and some toys that were new and different to him and be in a different place for a little bit, which he seemed to enjoy. We had dinner together and then headed home at the "late" hour or seven o'clock. Oh, how life changes when you have a kid. 

Sunday was a fairly lazy day, we went to church and afterwards Emerson and I went on a quick errand and came home to have lunch together. Landon had to work, but was able to take a little break later in the afternoon and we went to the park, because the rain had stopped and the sun was shining.

It was a sweet little weekend and I'm so thankful we were able to enjoy some time together as a family and spend some time with friends. It was also nice that the sun came out to play for a little while on Sunday so we could enjoy being outside.

I hope you all had a fun little weekend and were able to enjoy some sunshine or time with family or friends [or all of the above :]!

Monday, May 18, 2015

baby bump #2 // 36 weeks

Dear little Jelly Belly, 

This week you are the size of a honeydew melon! It feels like you just keep growing [because you are doing that...] especially as your movements are bigger and sometimes even a little bit painful, but I am not complaining in the slightest. I love feeling you wiggle around in your little home and if you don't move for a while, you have me in a fright. So, just keep swimming, just keep swimming :) 

Over the past week I have been feeling a lot of similarities to the feelings/symptoms I felt right before your brother was born. I don't know if this means you are going to make an early entrance into this world as well, only time will tell. But this is the week your brother was born, knowing that and experiencing similar symptoms sure has me wondering [and even hoping] we will get to meet you soon. I also feel like you will be here early, but my intuition isn't always right, so who knows. Right before your bother was born Boady cuddled with me like he never had before, we had friends over and he would not budge from my lap to for longer than a few minutes and didn't even say good bye when they left or go to his cozy spot under the couch. He stayed in my lap for as long as I let him. Your daddy wants to leave Boady out at night these days, just to see what he would do... would he come cuddle in my lap like before? Or would he go to his cozy spot? They say dogs can sense these things, and we're both sure he sensed your brother was going to come soon when he cuddled with me that night. 

Your brother has also been developing some less than desirable sleeping habits these nights. Is it just a phase? Or does he sense that things are going to change soon and have some kind of intuition? I don't know! But all these feelings and symptoms have me on my toes for sure and I really feel like it could be any time. Though, each baby is different and you will probably wait until the very last minute. Oi. We shall see... 

You have your daddy on his toes too, the other day I had some strong cramping [contractions?] and he was ready to go. I think he's ready to meet you too :) 

This morning I got to hear your little heartbeat, it is such an amazing sound, hearing you beat away in my belly. I feel you move, but to hear you? What a gift and a joy. The nurse listened for a while to your heartbeat, unlike the usual two seconds. I guess that's a good thing? We'll pretend like it is, she seemed pleased so we'll call it good. And from here on out we have weekly visits to the doctor. Crazy! 

We are so looking forward to meeting you and pray for you so much! I do pray that you will come on your own and we won't have to go in for the scheduled delivery, for some reason it is so important to me that you decided to come on your own and surprise us a little bit. Please? I pray that you are healthy and strong and that I am able to take care of you right from the start and provide everything you could possibly need. I pray for your days ahead and that you know and love Jesus with your whole heart and that you obey Him always. I pray for your transition into this world and into our family to be a smooth one. You are so loved jelly bean. I can't wait to see you, to stroke my finger across your tiny soft check, to hold you close to me and whisper into your ear. I am ready little one, any time you choose to come, it's okay by me. 

I love you to the moon and back. Love, Mama

Friday, May 15, 2015

some random thoughts

It feels like my mind is pretty useless these days, from being forgetful to not being able to spell anything correctly to not being able to put a coherent sentence together without thinking about it for five minutes. Anyhow, here are just a few tidbits of life, with my mind being what it is...

1 / have patience 
Oh, I feel like my patience is running so so thin these days. I'm usually pretty laid back and easy going when it comes to little things that Emerson and Bee do, but recently... not as much. They have recently started blowing bubbles [aka producing copious amounts of spit and slobber all over everything] and it drives me crazy! I try not to let it show, so it doesn't encourage them to continue, but it doesn't always work that way. They have also recently decided that screaming is fun. Especially at lunch time. They will eat their food and then sit and scream and scream. Then laugh like it's the best thing in the world. It. is. not. And oh, my patience... I've also noticed, come nap time and bed time, I. am. done. I don't deal well with Emerson's antics at the hours of 1:30ish and 7:3ish. It is not good.

2 / prayer 
My lack or thinning of patience recently had me praying constantly these past few days while Landon was out of town. I don't know how I didn't loose it while he was away, it must have had something to do with the fact that I prayed constantly while he was gone. And Jesus must have known that I couldn't take any extra craziness. I'm just thankful he is home again.

3 / ticking time bomb? 
I know we are still five or so weeks away from our due date, but for some reason I feel like I could explode / pop / have this baby at any given time. It's a strange feeling, but one that won't go away. Hopefully the feeling will just go away very soon, because I don't think I can last like this for five more weeks.

4 / picnic 
On Wednesday I asked Emerson if he wanted to go to a picnic with Daddy on Friday. I should have waited until Friday a few minutes before the picnic to ask him. He has been talking about nothing else. One of the first things he says in the morning and when he gets up from his nap is picnic. This morning he ran into our room and woke Landon up by talking about the picnic. The boy forgets nothing. Nothing. And will always talk about whatever it is we've done or talked to him about. It's pretty sweet, at least I think so. He is very much looking forward to our picnic.

5 / forgetful 
If only Emerson could pass some of his remembering skills onto me. I can't seem to remember anything these days. Goodness sakes, it's awful. I forget times of things, things we have planned, how to spell simple words, sending/giving out thank you cards I wrote less than an hour ago. It's really pathetic.

6 / pictures 
For the past who knows how many weeks, pictures that I upload to my computer are not showing up as options for me to post to blogger. I've never had this problem before and it is so frustrating. I want to say it started around the same time I did the upgrade to my computer a few weeks back. I've had issues, and have thankfully been able to sort most of them out. But this one I cannot figure out. I don't think it's a Blogger problem, but maybe. I don't know. All I know is I used to be able to take a picture, upload it, and then load it onto my blog. Not anymore. Now the new pictures don't even show up as options for me to load onto Blogger. Thus the lack of pictures today [because I am not an advanced pre-writing type of blogger person]. bah. Problems. If any of you have/had a similar problem I'd love your sharing :)

Okay. That's all. I hope you all have a happy and sunny weekend!

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

my hospital bag

It may sound strange, but one thing I secretly love to do is pack. Granted there are times I don't love packing so much, like when I'm in hour 73 of packing our entire house up, then I'm just over it and ready to be done packing and move onto the fun unpacking stage. But in general, I love packing. 

Packing represents that you are going somewhere, doing something, that something out of the ordinary is going to happen. Packing also represents [or can] a challenge of sorts. You have to look at what you are packing for, your mode of transportation, and the season you are in.... all kinds of fun things to consider. I always get so excited when Landon asks me to pack his bag for his trips. He picks what he wants to take and I make it fit. And oh, I make it fit. 

Anyhow, I was excited when the time came close enough for me to start packing a bag to take to the hospital. I had decided early on that I wanted to be ready for baby by the end of 34 weeks, this included having the bags packed [for me and the little ones!]. I like to be prepared and since Emerson came a bit earlier than expected last time, I just wanted to be sure I wasn't rushing around at the last minute to pack three bags. 

I thought about what I would like to have while at the hospital, things I took last time but didn't use or didn't take but wanted to have. I also thought about what would be available to me at the hospital. I tend to over pack most of the time, you just never know what you will feel like wearing... but I tried to keep it pretty simple for this bag. 

So, here is what I'm bringing with me to the hospital when the time comes: 
- slippers
- flip flops [for the shower] 
- socks [some for before baby and some for after baby]
- underwear [even though I know I'll just use what they provide at the hospital along with those awesomely huge pads [they are good] and not use my own. I have a hard time not packing underwear] 
- a cardigan/wrap [incase I get cold.... or for when we have visitors and I want to maintain an ounce of modesty]
- nursing camis
- nursing bras
- yoga pants [stretchy and soft. Good to have] 
- a nightgown [easy for nursing and nice to not have anything on the incision area] 
- clothes to wear home [I have two options, like I said, I never know what I'll feel like wearing, though I'm pretty sure I'll stick with the soft maxi skirt this time around].

There are a few things I'll have to add last minute, like a shirt to wear home [I have a small rotation and need all the shirts right now].

I'm also taking my own toiletries. I know some people don't do that, but I am not one of those people. I want to be able to take a shower as soon as I can so I can feel fresh. It's amazing the wonders a shower can do for you.

The toiletries I'm packing are pretty basic and things that stay in my overnight bag all the time, so it's not like I'm adding anything special:
- toothbrush
- toothpaste
- body wash
- shampoo
- face wash
- facial wipes [for when I can't get out of bed]
- deodorant
- lotion
- contacts, glasses, and contact solution [last minute additions]

I'm also taking my make up bag, because a little bit of make-up goes a long way in making me feel decent. And my straightener will probably come along too ... I don't want to look back on pictures from those first days with our new babe in horror of what I looked like. Just being honest :)

Anyhow, those are the things that will be coming along with me to the hospital. I always like getting a little peek into other mama's hospital bags, so I thought I'd share mine. What are some things you took/are taking with you to the hospital? Things you took but didn't use? Didn't take but wanted to have? 

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

a mother's day weekend

This past weekend was  quiet one with a few little extra bits of fun thrown in. Saturday morning after getting back from the grocery store we got ready to go to the pool. Landon took Emerson swimming a month or so ago and ever since then Emerson has been talking about swimming at the pool with daddy ... and mommy too. Landon was able to take a break from work, so we got Emerson ready and went to the pool for a little bit. Unfortunately for me [though, fortunately for others I'm sure] I don't have a bathing suit that fits my body as it is right now and since I won't have this belly for much longer I didn't want to buy a maternity swimsuit as I'm not sure I would get to wear it more than two or three times, for all of an hour each time. But since Emerson wanted me to go to the pool with him I tagged along on their fun. There are a few pools on campus Landon can swim at for free any time, and they have certain hours you can take you kid for free, Saturday morning being one of those times. We called to see if I could come in for free, as they usually make you pay $10 whether you swim or not, and they said I could come in without paying.

So we spent the rest of our morning at the pool and oh how I wished and wished I had a swimsuit that fit me right now. the water looked so inviting and all I wanted to do was get in it! I hope they go swimming again, because Emerson loves it, but at the same time, if they do, I will be not so secretly sad I don't get to swim with them. So I seriously think about justifying buying a $30 swimsuit that I will probably only wear twice. hum... Anyhow, it was a fun little way to spend the morning and we left with a sad little boy who wanted to "wim" all the day long. I can't say that I blame him. 

After lunch the ladies in our small group were getting together for some snacks. It was planned the day before, as far as I know at least, but I was able to go and spend some time with them outside of small group time, which was a nice little change. We chit-chatted and visited for a little while and then before it was time to go they surprised me with some very sweet baby gifts! It was so unexpected, generous, and thoughtful of them to shower their love on us like that. We are so thankful to be apart of a small group again, and this one has been such a blessing in so many ways. I only hope and pray we are as much of a blessing to them as they are to us! 

On Sunday morning Emerson woke bright and early, even earlier than he usually does, climbed out of his bed, and ran into our bedroom. The boy never does that. He knows not to and is pretty good about waiting for one of us to come and get him. But not on Sunday. After making him lay in his bed for all of one minute so we could be the ones to get him up, he climbed into bed with us and we talked and played read books. After a while Emerson brought his toy bins into our room and put all of his toys on our bed so he could have more to play with. I guess one pillow wasn't enough.

We enjoyed a muffin breakfast together and then went off to church. When we got home Landon and Emerson went to the pond to throw rocks at the geese, a new favorite of Emerson's, and then did a little bike riding. If it was up to Emerson, he would be outside all the day long. He loves running around, throwing things, his little tricycle, catching birds, and just exploring. The weather was nice enough that we were able to be outside for a while that morning. While they were outside I took a nap :) It was a nice little treat and did my sleepy body worlds of good. I woke up and snuck outside to take a few pictures of the boys having fun.

Landon and Emerson fixed lunch while I did a few things around the house and we were able to enjoy the afternoon hours doing a little of this and that and not a whole lot. It was a lovely way to spend the day. I hope you all had nice little weekends too :) 

Monday, May 11, 2015

baby bump #2 // 35 weeks

please excuse the poor lighting in this picture... it is what it is. 

Dear Little Jelly Belly, 

This week you are as big as a coconut and/or a honeydew melon. You are growing! Thankfully after the big scare you gave us last week, you have been pretty active and have been very good about letting me know you are around and just hanging out, doing your thing. I can tell you are growing because your movements are stronger now than before and they are bigger. Sometimes I'll look down at my belly and be amazed when I see you stretch yourself out and as my belly goes every which way. You are such a blessing and a miracle and I am so thankful for your little life. 

I feel huge! And I feel you all the time. Not necessarily your movements, but the fact that you are making my belly grow so much. Leaning over to put a dirty dish in the dish washer - there's the belly. Bending down to pick something up off of the floor - there's the belly. Sitting down - there's the belly. It's so big! I'm also feeling so exhausted. And not just sleep exhausted, but my body is tired. Walking up the stairs is a chore. Going from sitting on the floor to standing up takes work. Standing for long [20 minutes?] bouts of time wears me out. My body aches. It's a little crazy. I don't remember feeling this big or this exhausted with Emerson, but maybe I'm just putting those things out of my memory... Or maybe it's because with Emerson I was busy all the time, with my kids at school keeping me on my toes. All I know is I feel worn out. All the time. 

We are ready for you to come anytime now, and it is now safe for you to come - if you decide to come early. I feel like you will be making an early appearance, but who knows, you'll probably make me wait until two weeks past you due date [though in reality, that won't be happening as we have a scheduled c-section. It makes me really anxious, having that set date, but for now it it what it is. Please come before then]. But we are ready. We have everything we need to welcome you home, bags are packed, lists are made, things are done. And we mostly have a name for you. It's not official or anything, but I'm pretty sure we know your name... although, knowing us, it could very well change. I'm hoping it doesn't as I think this name is you. But your daddy is not as certain. So . . . we'll see. 

The weather has warmed up a bit, which is nice, and I have quickly realized that the majority of my maternity clothing are all winter clothes! Long sleeves, corduroy pants, jeans. The jeans I could wear even now, I love wearing jeans, but they are not fitting so well on my ever expanding belly, and every time I put them on I become frustrated that the belly band part doesn't stay put and I end up changing into something else. Mostly I've been wearing skirts with a stretchy/elastic waist band. Whatever works. I'm also doing laundry a lot more frequently, as I don't even have a weeks worth of short sleeve shirts to wear. Even though I probably shouldn't have, I bought another top the other day because I needed something that fit! I'm trying to make it through the end of this pregnancy without getting any more maternity things, but this belly and my lack of weather appropriate clothing is making it a little bit tricky. Though, I'm sure we'll make it and all will be good. 

While we were doing our grocery shopping the other day I happened to see the sweetest little outfit and sleeper, and it was half off, and I had a coupon to go with it, so I picked it up and when I asked your daddy if I could get it for you he agreed. I thought it would be nice to have something special just for you to wear. I know you'll be wearing hand-me-downs for probably your whole life, so getting you something of your own to wear during your first few weeks of life just seemed right. It's adorable, and I can't wait to dress you in it. 

I love you so much little snickerdoodle. I pray that you are safe and continue to grow and be healthy. I pray for your delivery and transition into this big unfamiliar world. I pray that you will always know that Jesus loves you and that you love Jesus and walk in his ways every day of your life. You are a beautiful gift, peanut, and I can't wait to hold you in my arms, smell your sweet new baby smell, and feel your soft new skin against mine. I love you for always. - Mama 

compare with Emerson's 35 week bump here 

Friday, May 8, 2015

outings and treats, this and that

one // a little outing 
Wednesday I didn't have to baby-sit so I took advantage of only having one toddler to tote around and we ran a few errands after breakfast. It was nice to be able to get out of the house and get some things done and checked off of my list. A really exciting bit to this outing was that Emerson stayed dry the whole time and went potty at the store before we left to go home. I was so proud of him! I'm sure he was tired of me asking him every tow minutes as we walked through the store if he had to go potty, each time saying no. But before we left we went in the bathroom to try and he did. So exciting. ...and I really never knew potty and dry underwear could be elicit such happiness. And now that I've shared this our next 286 outings will not go as well... eh. I had to document the day.

two // a little treat 
In honor of our first real outing and of staying dry we made a stop at Starbucks for a special treat [for me :]. I decided to try their S'mores frappucchino, and it did not disappoint. We sat in the sunny backyard and sipped the drink together. Emerson agreed that it was particularly yummy and wanted more. . . . He ate the cool whip on top of the drink, but to him it was coffee and he couldn't have been any more excited to be sipping my coffee with me. As much as I loved the drink, I loved him sitting next to me with his little legs stretched out in front of him, sipping on a cool treat.

three // a little tired 
This pregnancy has been a wonderful one, and I know that I am blessed beyond measure to be carrying this baby and that I've had a smooth pregnancy. But goodness sakes, I am so tired. It was really bad the first and second trimester, and then let up a little in the third trimester, but now all I want to do is sleep and I have no energy for anything. Poor little Emerson wants to go to the park to play with Bee, but I just can't muster the energy, strength, or patience I need to take them. Then come the afternoon, I just want to sit in our shaded backyard and let him run around and not have to chase him. I feel awful about it, but a walk to the park and play time there just hasn't happened. And also because he's potty training and I'm terrified that he will have an accident at the park or scream when I tell him we have to go home so he can potty... Maybe this weekend if/when Daddy has some free time we can go to the park?

four // a little gift 
A few weeks ago Landon's mom gave me some Kohl's cash and told me to spend it on myself. She has done this a few times in the past, and it's always so sweet and thoughtful of her. But it also causes me great anxiety because I never know what to get with it! I feel like because it's a gift and there is only so much of it, I have to spend it on the perfect thing. And I don't know what that is. A shirt? A skirt? Something maternity? Shoes? House decorations? So many choices! And then, there's the whole, it's only for this much money, so if what I find and like exceeds that amount, do I buy it anyway and just spend some of my own money on it? I don't know! But I guess I'm going to have to figure that out this weekend, because it expires on Sunday and there's no way I'm letting it not get spent.

five // a little schedule 
Because I know the baby could arrive at any time I decided to get as ready and as prepared as possible. One of the things I wanted to do in these preparations was write up a little schedule/routine for Emerson. I know that he will be fine, well taken care of, loved, and probably forget all about me while I'm at the hospital. But, I still want for him to have as much "normalcy" in his days while we're at the hospital as possible, so I wrote a "little" schedule/his daily routine for whoever is staying with him. I think it must be the writer, teacher, mama, and OCD in me that made his "little" schedule a few pages longer than I planned. I just can't help it! I like details and when it comes to taking care of my kid, I want who ever is with him to know what's what. I'm just praying the sweet people who take care of him, friends or family, appease me and read it and follow it. His routine is simple, but I added a few extras: allergies, sleeping habits, medicine, food.... you know, important things. I know after this I might be considered even more crazy, but I don't even care. This will be the first time I will be away from him for longer than a day. Sad? Unhealthy? Not normal? Yes to all of those. But it's the truth. In writing up a little list for/about him, it makes me feel better about leaving him in someone else's care.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and get to enjoy some sunshine! If you are a mama or soon to be mama, Happy Mother's Day! I hope you are treated right and that you are able to spend the day with loved ones.

I'm linking up with some sweet ladies here and here.

Thursday, May 7, 2015

a finished project

This past weekend I was able to start working on the last of my projects. Over the past few months I've had a few projects I've wanted to work on and finish before baby's arrival. Since the time is getting closer for baby to come I decided I needed to get it done, that and because one of these projects was something that would help me prepare for baby's arrival - a "big brother bag" [aka: an overnight bag that is not a reusable shopping bag].

A few months ago I had went out and got all the materials I would need for the project. I had even pre-washed and ironed the fabric. So, everything was ready and waiting, it was just a matter of me getting to it. Saturday I decided there was no more time for dilly-dallying and I got busy.

The project was an overnight bag for Emerson. I wanted him to have his own special little bag I could pack for him in case he needs to spend the night at a friend's house when the baby comes. Usually when we go on trips he uses my carry-on, reusable shopping bags, and/or the diaper bag [not that he seems to notice or care]. Since I'm going to be using the same diaper bag for baby bean I knew that wasn't an option for Emerson and he would need a bag that was just the right size for a night away from home. And also, I thought it would be sweet for him to have his own little bag for future trips, even if it does only cart around his beloved animals and blankets.

During nap time on Saturday I cut the pieces, ironed, and started sewing. I was able to get quite a bit of the bag done before he woke up, and knew that I probably needed just one more nap time or a few hours after he went to bed one night. The pattern I used wasn't the greatest. I've done my fair share of sewing since I was little, and while I'm not an expert, I do know how to follow a pattern, pin and cut pieces, and sew in a straight line. When I bought this pattern I was expecting to get a pattern - pieces to pin down and cut out, and step by step easy to follow directions like every other pattern I've ever used includes. While there were step by step instructions, I didn't think they were written out all that well and at times were difficult to understand. If they had been laid out differently I think I could have made this bag during one nap time! And as far as the pattern pieces go - there was one and then a guide for another piece. Not what I want when I get a pattern. I'm a pin and cut on the line so it's all perfect kind of sewer. That was not the case with this pattern. I cut and pinned, but it was not as perfect as I would have liked. Oh well. I figured it out, didn't make any mistakes, and ended up with a bag for Emerson that I am pleased with. And I'm pretty sure he likes it too.

Though the bag has several imperfections, it's still a bag, it still resembles the "pattern" like it should, and I am happy that it turned out without any major flaws. There are things I would do differently if I were to make this bag again, one being the handle length. I like to be able to put the handles on my shoulder and carry it around; the straps for this bag are really too short to do that. You can, it's just really awkward. There are a few other little things here and there, but like I said, in the end I have a little bag that is just for Emerson and perfect for little trips. I like it and am pleased with how it turned out over all.

Plus, how could I not like it? I mean, just look at that fabric. I knew the moment I saw it in the store that that would be the fabric for his bag. I have never been able to choose a fabric as quickly as I did for this little bag. He was really excited when I first showed it to him and was excited to see the finished product as well. I love this fabric so much that I'm contemplating making a little duvet cover for him. I feel like I'm always washing his comforter and it would be nice if I could just take a cover off and wash it. But, I don't know, we'll see I guess. 

Anyhow, that's my second of three projects finished and done. The other project is an afghan, it's coming along, but it still has a ways to go. I'm hoping to get it finished in the next week or so. We shall see. 

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

catching birds

One of my favorite things to do is spend my days with my little man. He keeps me busy and on my toes, and he is full of surprises. Each day is different and new, and each day has something sweet that I want always want to remember. Every day may not be "easy" and there will be challenges in each day, but there are so many sweet moments that can so easily be over looked. 

Right now, one of these things is catching birds. All day we look out his window at the birds and watch them gather their food or as Emerson always says, "sood. gass. woms," [food, grass, worms]. Then we look for more birds and watch them fly or sit in a tree or on the roof of a house. It's pretty entertaining. 

One night he was outside with Landon and Emerson decided to catch the birds. He ran around in the field behind our house, arms stretched up to the skies, trying to catch a bird. He didn't catch one the first night, but he talked about it a lot and was ready to go bird catching again the next night. 

So now, every evening after we finish dinner Emerson wants to go outside to catch birds and watch them eat their grass and worms. Some nights I'll ask him if he caught a bird and he'll say, "Yeah," while nodding his head fiercely. His bird catching skills are putting mine to shame.

I love that the evenings are just cool enough so we can spend some time outside before bedtime. I love that Emerson can catch birds and talk about it all the next day. I love that he can watch birds all day long and not be bored by them. I love that he tells me 248 times a day that there are "brdys" outside his window and that they eat, "sood. gass. woms." It amazes me the things he remembers and that he will [and can] talk about something so simple as a bird or a tractor for hours and weeks. I am blessed to be his mama and be able to see the world through his eyes.