Thursday, June 4, 2015

choosing to have a repeat c-section

A week or so ago I shared my thoughts/indecisiveness on having a repeat c-section vs. a VBAC, and I so appreciate you sharing your thoughts and/stories with me. I prayed about it for a while longer and after my doctor's appointment last week, decided that I was going to have a repeat c-section. And I feel at complete peace about my decision. At the appointment I talked with my doctor more in depth about what a VBAC would look like and the risks and complications that can potentially occur during one. On my way home I was thinking and praying about what I would do and I had a little "vision". Okay, so it probably wasn't a vision, but it was such a vivid little scene that played in my mind that I'm calling it that.

This is what I saw: me in labor, trying for a VBAC, when all of the sudden the baby's monitor shows the baby's heart rate dropping low and starts showing signs that the baby is in distress. Suddenly, the doctor and nurses are running me down the hallway into the operating room, all the while tears are streaming down my face and I am praying and praying for the baby to be okay.

As I saw this little event play out in my head, I started crying real tears. And the rest of the drive home that's all I could see and think about.

I took it as my answer to prayer that having a c-section is the way for me to go. And I am at peace about it, now more than ever. I know it's not the choice everyone will make, and that's fine. I know it's not the right or wrong choice. I know I won't look back on this baby's birth and regret not trying for a VBAC. I know that it is the right choice for me and the baby, and that's what matters the most.

And hopefully it's not too much longer before we get to meet the little peanut!  :)


7 comments:

Alisha said...

I am proud of you for knowing what is best for you and the baby! I would totally take that vision as a sign, how scary!

Jessica said...

I absolutely believe that God put that vision on your heart to help illustrate His will, and is giving you a sense of peace in your decision. Bravo to you for listening, mama! You and baby #2 will both be safer this way, and you've done the recovery for a c-section before, so hopefully this second time around won't be quite as bad as the first time since you know what to expect!

Amy said...

Hannah, I'm so proud of you for making a decision that you feel is best for you & that sweet little boy. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or if someone would have made a different decision, you made the right choice for you & your baby. That's all that matters! :) hugs to you, sweet girl!

Callie Nicole said...

I am so glad God gave you that picture so that you would know what to do! I definitely think He does that sometimes. Can't wait to hear about your little one's arrival!

Jillian said...

So glad you were able to make a decision and feel at peace about it! Praying for you as you approach this exciting new season of growth for your family!

Laura said...

So glad you have an answer and peace! Still praying for all of you as birth day draws closer! Soon!

Sparkles and Lattes said...

Thank you for sharing this. I am trying to decide if we want more babies in general, but then I am faced with the choice of c-section vs. VBAC. I want a VBAC, but I had a traumatic birth with my twins that lead me into an emergency c-section. Tough decision.