Wednesday, June 1, 2016

word vomit

Over the past few weeks I've been trying to add in one new thing to my days as naps and bedtime allow. I'm a create of habit and I love routine so when adding in something new it can make my "normal" a little less normal. Add in the fact that nap time hasn't been as quiet or consistent lately which makes my to do list even more of a challenge. Even though my to do list consists of things I'd like to do and nothing I have to do, I still very much like to get those things accomplished.


I thought that waking up even earlier than I have been might help me get more of my things accomplished. Sometimes it helps and sometimes it doesn't. In general, every day I like to have my quiet time [which I try to do early in the mornings before the boys wake], play with the boys, keep the kitchen as clean as I can, go on a walk or two [weather permitting], blog, read, work on a new sewing dream, have a cup of coffee in the quiet of the the afternoon, and maintain the mountain of laundry that sits in the hallway. Most days though, I just can't do it all. The play time and time with the boys, keeping the kitchen clean always happen. My quiet time happens most days. But the others? Not so much. I was being fairly consistent with daily blogging, but then I decided I wanted to do a little more sewing and since nap time is really my only time for both of those things, one of them gets pushed to the side. Add in the fact that nap time isn't always a guaranteed length of time and a lot of things on my 'like to' list don't get done. Then of course there are those days the morning has been so exhausting the last thing I want to do is lift my finger to type let alone sew, so nothing gets done. Well, nothing except me laying on the couch or on my bed drowning in my thoughts about what I should be doing and about what the future holds. Sometimes I wonder what the point is. The point of blogging. The point of trying to keep the house a little tidy. The point of trying to pursue a new dream. "Why bother?" I wonder. Then I think about all of the friendships blogging has created and about how it has helped me over the last few years. How it kind of gives me a purpose outside of being a mama. How it's comforting to know that I'm not alone in this stage. How trying my hand at a new dream might give me more purpose outside of being a mama. But then I can't figure out how to make time to fit it all in during a short little afternoon nap time.

I'm not really sure I have a point to this. It's just a lot of rambling on about some of the thoughts that have been swimming in my mind lately. But somehow a little word vomit usually helps me sort out my thoughts and feelings and helps me feel better. So thanks for listening to my nonsense today. I hope to be back soon with a few favorites and a little more upbeat post for you.




6 comments:

Ashley Brickner said...

Totally understand what you are saying. I think the transition from one to two does that. ;) Your boys will love to look back on all your thoughts one day!

Amy said...

Hannah, we all go through funks & phases. Going from one to two was quite the adjustment for me & to be honest, I still don't have it figured out. Once I think I do, something changes. So, just so you know, I'm here in case you want to text or email or anything. :)

Jessica (The Newly) said...

Oh, sweet girl, you put into words the challenges we all face. Some days, I feel like I have it ALL together and have done a good job. And then others, it's 9:39 pm and I am just now sitting down to read a few blogs, have not had any quiet time, still have to take a shower, and then get a blog post together for my own blog. It's crazy how just a little kink thrown into a day can throw the whole day off, timing wise. Or how just being a little tired can make it seem like nothing got accomplished. Goodness, I know just how you feel. If we could have just one more hours, perhaps? Lol! You are not alone! Being a mother is a constant state of balancing, and one that will never be perfect!

Courtney said...

You're not alone! But we all know you're doing the very best you can. And that is enough!

Lindsay at Lindsay'sSweetWorld said...

I get in funks like this every now and then as well. We all do. It's a part of being human. Just know that we're all here for you if you need someone to lean on. I love your blog and I am so glad that we found each other, and I hope that you find the clarity that you are looking for soon! Hugs!

Lauren English said...

I love your honesty in this post! I feel like my days are so similar, especially with having to decide how to fill those precious naptime hours. I love that you are choosing to do things you love that bring you joy like sewing. That will be so valuable for your littles to see!