Friday, September 30, 2016

the time I got my eyeballs lasered

I left you in the lurch a little bit about the whole Lasik thing, sorry [it wasn't intentional]. I'd been at the doctor all morning and was waiting to hear if I would actually be able to have the surgery done that day as I'd been told I'd be able to. You can catch up here if you like.

I was sitting in a room with no lights on, praying I'd be able to able to have Lasik that afternoon [even though it was a terrifying thought], but also very much at peace about what the outcome would be, even if that meant not having it done. I was so much at peace that I even prayed my dream house in Kansas would still be on the market when we go to buy in a few months and that it would become our home [you guys, I love that house. It's a good thing I believe in the power or prayer ;].

After what seemed like forever, the consult lady came in the room and immediately said, "You can have Lasik this afternoon!" I was so excited and relieved! Not only would they be able to do the surgery, but it would be Lasik and not PRK like the previous doctor I'd talked to about having it done told me it would be [PRK is like Lasik - the same end result, they just perform the surgery differently:  PRK is on top of the cornea, with Lasik they make a flap and do it under the cornea. PRK is more painful with a much worse recovery. Landon had it done and said it felt like there was sand in his eyes for a week. He was drugged for as long as it took his eyes to heal. Basically, PRK is good because it fixes your vision, but it's super painful, results aren't as immediate [think a few days], and recovery is terrible. Lasik is better because the results are immediate and it's not painful at all]. Since I'd seen Landon go through PRK and was aware of how awful it would be, I was so thankful I could have Lasik [so was he]. The surgeon at the office I was at, was actually the second surgeon to preform Lasik, so he had tons of experience and is really a genius! I was so thankful for that.

The consult lady told me that as it turns out, the surgeon would have liked to see my eyes out of contacts for another week or so, but that he'd told her not to schedule any more same day surgeries. Which basically meant, he didn't feel like doing another surgery that day. Because he didn't want to do another one meant that I wouldn't have been able to get it. Well, thank the Lord for a good eye doctor and consult lady who were eager to help me and make sure my eyes were in good enough shape to have it done that day [aka: wanted to take my money]. 

The consult lady gave me instructions to go have some lunch, drop of my prescription at the pharmacy, do a little shopping, and then come back later that afternoon for the surgery. I kept asking for a time. 1 o'clock? 3 o'clock? 3:30? I like to know when I'm supposed to be somewhere so I can at least try to be on time, you know? But she only gave me a general, "once your eyes have gone back down to normal from the dilation." Landon asked her too, but only got the same with the addition of, "get some lunch. Do some shopping." Well thanks. Since my initial surgery time had been scheduled for 1 -2 that afternoon we just kept that in mind as we waited for my eyes to go back to normal. 

We left the office and headed to lunch at The Cheesecake Factory. On the way we stopped at the jewelry store to have my rings cleaned. There isn't one near where we live, so we figured we may as well drop them off to be cleaned that afternoon while we were so close. Landon left his as well and then we went to lunch. It was so good! We had a little date and enjoyed a meal sans kiddos, and of course ended the meal with some cheesecake. Carrot cake cheesecake? Um, yes please! 

After lunch we walked around the mall, while waiting for my eyes to go back to normal. There is a super fancy mall in that area [like they have all the expensive shops and stores that we'd never actually buy anything from]. We went into the Pottery Barn and tried out some couches where it was quickly decided that we could never ever actually buy anything of theirs. haha. I saw that there was an Anthropology, a store I'd only ever heard about and knew it was super nice and super expensive. Of course I had to go in and take a look for myself. While most things were on the expensive side, there were a few things that were normally/affordably priced. Also, who knew they had such cute and affordable kitchen wares?! Maybe you did if you shop there. I saw an adorable little mug and suggested that it would make a really great Christmas gift [I start early ;] and Landon told me to just get it and then hide it from myself until Christmas. haha.

We walked around for a little while longer then realized that it was nearly 3:30, my eyes were back to normal so we thought we should head back to the office so I didn't miss my "appointment/turn." Landon dropped me off and headed back to the coffee shop to work; I checked in and waited. The room was a lot more full of people at this point, so I was 'just people watching, the other people watching me' [bonus points if you know where that's from]. I read, watched the cartoon they had playing, and politely eaves dropped on other people's conversations and chitchatted with them. Cause that's what you do in a waiting room, right? After I'd been waiting for about an hour I asked Stephanie if she knew about how much longer it would be and she just said, "Oh, not much." At this point it was about 4 o'clock. Why couldn't these people give me a straight answer?!

Time kept ticking by and realized we wouldn't be back to Landon's parents house in time for dinner like we had originally thought. I was getting anxious and missing the boys like crazy - that was the longest I had ever been away from them [and yes, I know I have separation issues]. Thankfully I knew they were being well taken care of and Landon's sister, Lauren, was really good about sending me texts and pictures and such to keep me updated. I love her. I kept her updated too on when I thought I might be having surgery, thankfully they were really understanding [and didn't mind at all] that we would be gone a little longer. I mean, time with just the boys? No having to share them with us? No Oliver wanting his mama because when I'm around that's all he wants? At one point Lauren FaceTimed me and it was so good to see the boys eating their snacks and just playing.

Finally, I was called back, we paid, and then I was taken to the waiting room for surgery. There were only two men ahead of me at this point and then it was my turn! Shortly after going into that waiting room I discovered the option for having valium, apparently it makes it so you just don't care about anything [like the fact they are about to peel your eyes wide open and then laser your eyeballs]. Both of the men had gotten some and were sitting happily in the room. When I was talking to Landon about maybe getting one or not, the older guy said, "Get it! I did! I feel great!" So off Landon went to get a prescription filled. I only wish we had known about it earlier; by the time Landon got back with it and I took it, there was hardly time for it to kick in. Actually, there was no time for it to kick in. I took it and about ten minutes later it was my turn.

glamor shot :}

They took me into the cold operating room, set me up, gave me a Buzz Lightyear doll to hold onto, and then they started. The surgeon gave gruff instructions to me and the nurses, his voice hard to hear and understand. He peeled my eye lids back and prepped me for surgery.

The medicine had not kicked in.

And I really wished it had. But it wasn't working and I was having a slight panic attack. As the surgeon worked, I know it didn't take but minutes, seconds really on each eye, but it felt like an eternity. The way it felt, what I could and couldn't see, the sounds, the smells. My senses were going into overdrive and I was breathing hard and fast and squeezing Buzz so tight. so so so tight. I tried to distract myself and make myself think about something else, the only thing that came to mind was, "Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so... Jesus loves me, this I know..." so I sang it [in my head] over and over and over. After what seemed like forever had passed and he was finished with the first eye, I didn't want him to finish and do the second eye [but I did, and he had to]. Once again, "Jesus loves me, this I know" sang on repeat in my head while he worked on my other eye.

Those were some of the most terrifying and longest minutes of my life. Truly truly. Next to waiting to hear Oliver cry after delivery, waiting for the nurses and doctors to find Emerson's heartbeat after my water broke, and waiting for Oliver's rash to go down, for him to cry tears, they were the longest seconds of my life. It was the most horrific thing I have physically endured and gone through. Oh my gracious. I got a lifetime warranty of touchups with the Lasik package I got - um. Never using it. Ever.

By the time we talked with the surgeon afterwards and gotten in the car, I was loopy [thanks for nothing medicine...] and I fell asleep on the drive back to Landon's parent's house.

We got back to their house at about 8 o'clock that night. A lot later than what we had initially been told and anticipated. But, at least I had been able to have the surgery that day and it was over. When we got back, the boys were happily roasting marshmallows with GeGe and Poppy and their aunties. They were freshly bathed and in their jammies. Hugs from them were never so sweet. I only saw them for a few minutes before they went to bed for the night - and even though my vision was a little fuzzy - I could see them without my contacts or glasses. It was incredible. I am so so thankful we were with family; Poppy, GeGe, and Landon's sisters helped Landon get the boys to bed for the night while I laid on the couch.

Before going on the trip, we had planned to leave the morning after the surgery once my follow-up appointment was over. But when I woke up in the morning, Landon told me his mom had offered/invited us to stay all day so they could look after the boys and I continued to recover. I didn't even think about it, yes, we were going to stay the day. I love his family. I love how they have become my family. I love how they love our boys [and us].

Landon took me for my follow-up appointment that morning, then we spent the rest of the day with his parents and sisters. Thankfully the appointment that day was only a few minutes long and we were out of there in no time. I was so glad we stayed the extra day, I was able to see the boys all I wanted to, but also get all the rest I needed when I needed it without having to worry about the boys.

sweet boy wanted to read with me 

In the end, I'm glad I had it done, it's amazing to wake up in the middle of the night and be able to see without reaching for my glasses. I'm still getting used to not having to put my contacts in every morning or take them out each night. But my eyes feel great and the bruise I got in one eye has mostly disappeared.

And that's my story about the time I had Lasik.

Monday, September 26, 2016

little gifts [705 - 721]

So maybe I lied. Or not lied, I had every intention of getting more posts up last week ... but then it didn't happen. Whoops. Maybe this will be the week? Fingers crossed. In hopes of doing that I thought I'd start the week out in my favorite way - with the little gifts from this week. Here we go and here's to hoping I'll share a bit more this week!

705. a visit from my parents

706. a surprise of an extended visit with them

707. exploring the pumpkin patch with Grandpa and Grandma

708. little legs trying to climb on pumpkins

709. a night of free baby-sitting

710. little pumpkins scattered around the house

711. a surprise package of candy corn in the mail from my brother

712. friends understanding the season of life we're in

713. visiting a new park in the heat of day

714. picking Halloween costumes for the boys

715. being on time to church

716. Fall decor

717. fabric shopping for new items in the shop

718. coffee with friends from small group - sharing my heart with them

719. pony tail holders

720. the moon hanging low in the evening sky

721. little hands holding tight to the stroller during an evening walk

What gifts are in your life right now?

Monday, September 19, 2016

little gifts [685 - 704]

So, it feels like it's been forever since I've shared a post. Whoops. Hopefully I'll get back to it this week [for real this time]. The past week or so I've struggled getting out of bed when my alarm goes off, so there's that excuse ;) But I'm hoping that by starting this week off with a few little gifts it will get me in the right mind set [for lack of a better term] and get me posting on the regular again, because really truly, I love this little corner of the inter-world :) Which basically means, I love you. So anyhow, let's get to it before the little ones wake up and start dictating my day.

685. evening walks in the cool of the day

686. Oliver pointing with his whole body to the park

687. Oliver's unconfined glee when we turn to walk towards the park

688. little feet running fast to catch a ball

689. tiny hands and legs, crawling fast to catch up

690. a little nugget, standing wobbly on his own

691. a good visit with the doctor

692. twinkle lights inviting new friends to gather

693. extra long afternoon naps - by both boys

694. every single shop order

695. afternoon nap time spent cutting and sewing

696. a giant pale moon hanging low in the sky

697. washing jelly coated hair in the sink after lunch

698. playing Little People farm animals with tiny hands

699. discovering things new through the eyes of a babe

700. purple, pink, blue, and gold streaks across the sky wishing the sun good-night

701. warm and gooey chocolate chip cookies

702. random hugs and kisses from the three year old

703. whispers of, "I lod [love] you," in my ear

704. a candle flickering the evening hours away

What are some of the gifts in you life lately? I always love to hear!

Thursday, September 15, 2016

seeing about having lasik

A week or so ago I shared about our little weekend trip to Landon's parent's house. It was a short weekend, packed full with lots of family and fun. We had gone to visit family, but we also had gone with the intention and hope of me getting Lasik. I had called several weeks in advance to see if it was possible to have a consultation and surgery the same day. The consultation is a must - they have to check your eyes in a hundred different ways, run tests, take pictures, dilate, and then check them all over again. Which is good since they're your eyes and they very well might laser them! Please, get it right. Supposing you're eyes are healthy enough and meet their criteria, you become a candidate and can have surgery.

I've worn glasses since I was eight and started wearing contacts when I was in high school, so I was excited about the possibility of being able to see on my own. I never thought I'd really go through with getting Lasik, because the process is a little bit terrifying, but I still really wanted it done. So after calling once to talk to them about it, calling back to make a same day consult and surgery appointment, and then calling again a few weeks later to confirm my appointment and contingent surgery, we went to Kentucky [so we could have family watch the boys the day of my appointment and hopeful surgery, see family, and be near a Lasik place].

They told me to stop wearing my contacts for one week before my appointment, I stopped wearing them a week and a half before my appointment. I wasn't going to take any chances, I wanted to make sure my eyes were good and healthy and back to their normal eye shape. And I'm so glad I did.

My appointment was at 9:00 on Saturday morning, we had to drive a little more than an hour to get there, so we got up early to leave. I didn't want to wake the boys before we left, and I wasn't about to, but I really wanted to see and hug them before we left because I knew we probably wouldn't be back until around dinner time. Thankfully Emerson woke up a little earlier that morning and right as I was getting my bag to walk out the door, Oliver stirred enough that I went and got him and gave him some hugs and kisses. I hugged Emerson and told him I was going to the doctor and then he ran off. ha. That boy didn't care, he was at Poppy and GeGe's house! I'm glad he was so excited to be there and distracted easily by them. Oliver was sad and cried and reached for me when I gave him to GeGe, but she took him to the window to look for cows and he calmed down before I walked out the door. SO thankful the boys were able to spend the day with Landon's parents and sisters.

We made it to the appointment with time to spare, Landon dropped me off and headed to work at a nearby coffee shop, and before too long of sitting and watching Frozen in the waiting room, I was taken back to start the process. They took pictures of my eyes, I looked at the hot air balloon [you know what I'm talking about if you've been to the eye doctor], I read the letter chart, I watched an informational video about Lasik, and met with an eye doctor. The eye doctor took my file for the surgeon to look at and decide if I was in fact a candidate or not. While he was doing that and after all of the tests were done, the lady who does the logistic part of the consult took me into a dark room [for the sake of my dilated eyes], and talked to me about the surgery and if I was a candidate or not. I figured I would be and was just going to talk about more of the actual surgery process and payment with her.

After a little chit chat, she went and got my chart and came back to tell me what the surgeon said. The surgeon said since I'd been in contacts for so long he wanted to wait and see my eyes out of them for a little bit longer so they could fully get back to their normal eye shape [who knew wearing contacts changed the shape of your eye so much?], maybe one or two weeks, before doing the surgery.

And my hopes fell to the floor.

Then the lady looked at my file and asked if my address was correct, since it was an Illinois address and I was in Kentucky. I explained my situation to her and she asked what I was going to do if I couldn't get the surgery that day. I didn't know, but told her it was unlikely that I'd be able to get it at all any time soon and would probably have to wait a few more years. I had texted Landon a little earlier and he came over to hear what she had to say and talk about our options. I still had to see the eye doctor one more time for her to check my dilated eyes. The consult lady said she would have the eye doctor talk with the surgeon one more time to see if I couldn't just go ahead with the surgery anyway - if my eyes were fine that day but he'd rather wait just to see my eyes in a few weeks.

I met with the eye doctor again and she did one last check of my eyes then went off to talk to the surgeon to see if my eyes weren't healthy enough and in good enough shape that day to have the surgery done that afternoon. Landon left and I sat in the room and just prayed that I would be able to have it done that day. The longer I sat there the more I knew that if I couldn't get it that day, it would be at least another year or two before we would look into it again, if at all.

After what seemed like forever, and once I was at peace about what may or may not happen that day, but also knowing I would be really disappointed if I couldn't have the surgery done that day, the consult lady came back in.

And I'll leave it there for now... It's a lot of words to read and no pictures ... so I'll save the rest for another day.

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

three things I can't live without

So, I thought it would be fun to join Andrea and share three things that I "can't live without." Obviously I could live without these things, but man is life better with them :) I decided to have fun and go the lighthearted route too, so yeah. Three things that I couldn't live without . . .

slippers. I love them so. If I'm at home, you will find me wearing slippers around the house. Summer or Winter, slippers will be on my feet. I wear them with socks and without socks. When we travel, I pack slippers. I've had my fair share of slippers, but these are by far my favorite. My feet are happy in slippers.

jeans. If I could, I would wear jeans I've worn them on the hottest of days and on the coldest of days. If I know I'm going to be spending most of my days inside, I'll wear jeans. Even on the very hottest of days, though if I know I'll be outside I'll usually change into shorts or something a little cooler. The other day we went shopping at the Gap Clearance store and I got jeans for $1.99. Once I found a pair that fit, I searched the rack for every single pair of jeans that was my size, and bought them all. I mean, a pair of brand new Gap jeans for $1.99?! I will take them all.

mascarra. Oh man. This is one of those things that as long as I have a little swab of mascara on my eyes I feel good and ready and prepared. I feel awake and somewhat put together. It also makes me look awake. I have the very lightest eyelashes, especially next to my dark hair, so I use the blackest of black and never go a morning without at least putting that on. Except for the past week and a half-ish because of my eyes. It's killing me not to wear any and I've never looked so forward to wearing mascara again. I've also never looked so sickly without being actually sick. It's amazing the difference it makes.

Anyhow, there you have it. The three things that I couldn't live without. :) Linking up here!

Monday, September 5, 2016

little gifts [664 - 684]

Happy Monday and Labor Day to you! I realize most people probably have big fun plans for the day, but for us this day looks just like all the others. Which is just fine with me. This post has become one of my favorites, counting all the little gifts in my life makes me see God's goodness throughout each day and realize just how very blessed I am. 

664. a bashful welcome from Oliver after having spent the morning away without seeing him at all

665. his little grin buried under his blanket

666. tiny arms and legs wrapped tight around me, fingers stroke-pulling my hair

667. lunch with a dear friend - just the two of us

668. uninterrupted conversation

669. driving alone

670. listening to my favorite radio show

671. renewed spirit to play in the afternoon

672. morning sunlight streaming through the kitchen windows

673. days home with two little boys

674. God's protection

675. honking geese gliding through the white cloud speckled evening sky

676. little legs running to catch the graceful geese above, arms stretched upwards

677. tiny fingers picking through the dried mowed grass

678. summer sun blending into brisk fall

679. evenings I never want to end

680. wide open fields for running fast

681. an order from my shop

682. fabric slipping under my fingers, under the sewing needle

683. deep colored nail polish

684. soothing eye drops

What are some of the gifts in your life right now?

Thursday, September 1, 2016

a weekend trip and a surprise

This week has been somewhat of an unusual one for us, hence the lack of posts around here. But I'm back into the swing of things [hopefully!] and hope to get back to regularly scheduled programing around here.

Last Wednesday I did all of our laundry and then I packed our things for a weekend at GeGe and Poppy's house. Thursday morning we packed the car, took Landon to campus, ran an errand or two, packed a few last things, fed the boys lunch, and then stopped to pick Landon up and headed for Kentucky, where we were going to visit family and see if I could hopefully have Lasik.

While there are centers that do Lasik closer to our home, we wanted to go to a chain since we will be moving. I looked at what Lasik centers are around us now, what will be near us in Kansas, and found one that is nearby us in Kansas and one that is close to where Landon's parents live. We decided to go there so they could keep the boys for us while we went to the eye doctor.

On our way to Landon's parents we stopped to do a little shopping at a Gap outlet store [more on that later ;] and grabbed some dinner at Chick-fil-a [or "chip-a-lay" as Emerson calls it]. We don't have one near us here, so it's a special treat to get to eat there and Emerson loves when we get to. He remembers that they have chicken nuggets [that he actually likes and eats!] and that there is a play place for him, which he also loves. It's nice for him to be able to run around and get some energy out while we travel.

After dinner we got the boys in the car one last time and drove the last 30 minutes or so to Landon's parent's house. It was past the bed time for the boys by the time we arrived at GeGe and Poppy's house, and they entertained the boys while we unloaded the car and got their beds and such set up for them. Thankfully they both went down to bed fairly well and slept well that night.

We spent Friday morning hanging out at the house, Landon's grandparents came over to see the boys and play with them, we went out for lunch with all of the grandparents, and then the boys took naps. After nap time I took the boys over to my sister's house so our kiddos cold play together. Emerson loooooves his cousin and they ran around the house chasing each other with dart guns and swords and other toys little boys love. Those two love.each.other. And I love watching them play. And it's also why there are no pictures of them - they ran the entire time they were together.

Celeste was going to come back to Landon's parent's house for dinner that evening so I could see her for even longer that day. We went outside to pick some tomatoes in the garden and while we were tomato picking a truck pulled up to her house. We walked over to see who it was and lo and behold - it was my parents! What?! I had no idea they were going to be coming in and it was a surprise to see them at her house. Crazy. Crazy. They ended up coming to dinner at Landon's parent's house too. Everyone knew but me, and since Lesa knew before hand she had prepared plenty of food for everyone. Apparently they thought it would be fun to surprise me? It was crazy to see my two worlds/families in the same place together. Aside from our wedding, there is only one other time I remember both of our parents being in the same place at the same time. It was a fun evening and a nice surprise to see my parents for a little bit. Though I told them they better not surprise me like that if/when they plan to come to my house ;)

We got the boys bathed [man, do little boys play hard!] and to bed and then after a while I went to sleep, full of nerves for the following day. I had an appointment at 9 in the morning and we had to leave by 7:30 to make it up there in time. In the morning I got ready and secretly hoped the boys would wake up so I could give them hugs and kisses before we left. I figured we wouldn't be back until dinner time and that was a long time for me to go without seeing them! Thankfully Emerson woke up and was upstairs a little before it was time for us to leave and Oliver started stirring and fussing right before we were about to walk out the door. I couldn't help myself and got him out of bed, even though I knew it would probably make the good-bye harder for him. I had to kiss his sweet little face!

Leaving only a little page with notes with Oliver's schedule and meal ideas and allergies, I left the boys and headed off to see about my eyes. I kissed Emerson and gave him a squeeze, not that he cared, he ran off to play with Poppy and probably didn't notice I was leaving or gone after I'd left. I gave Oliver a last little smooch on his soft cheek and then gave him to GeGe and walked towards the door, while he fussed after me and [thankfully] then calmed down while looking for the cows outside.  Of course I knew my boys would be well loved and looked after which made heading out a little easier.

Landon poked fun at me a little bit for having to get Oliver up that morning, but I was so glad I did because as it turned out, we were gone for a lot longer than either of us anticipated. ...But more on that later, it's a post all in its own.