Friday, September 30, 2016

the time I got my eyeballs lasered

I left you in the lurch a little bit about the whole Lasik thing, sorry [it wasn't intentional]. I'd been at the doctor all morning and was waiting to hear if I would actually be able to have the surgery done that day as I'd been told I'd be able to. You can catch up here if you like.

I was sitting in a room with no lights on, praying I'd be able to able to have Lasik that afternoon [even though it was a terrifying thought], but also very much at peace about what the outcome would be, even if that meant not having it done. I was so much at peace that I even prayed my dream house in Kansas would still be on the market when we go to buy in a few months and that it would become our home [you guys, I love that house. It's a good thing I believe in the power or prayer ;].

After what seemed like forever, the consult lady came in the room and immediately said, "You can have Lasik this afternoon!" I was so excited and relieved! Not only would they be able to do the surgery, but it would be Lasik and not PRK like the previous doctor I'd talked to about having it done told me it would be [PRK is like Lasik - the same end result, they just perform the surgery differently:  PRK is on top of the cornea, with Lasik they make a flap and do it under the cornea. PRK is more painful with a much worse recovery. Landon had it done and said it felt like there was sand in his eyes for a week. He was drugged for as long as it took his eyes to heal. Basically, PRK is good because it fixes your vision, but it's super painful, results aren't as immediate [think a few days], and recovery is terrible. Lasik is better because the results are immediate and it's not painful at all]. Since I'd seen Landon go through PRK and was aware of how awful it would be, I was so thankful I could have Lasik [so was he]. The surgeon at the office I was at, was actually the second surgeon to preform Lasik, so he had tons of experience and is really a genius! I was so thankful for that.

The consult lady told me that as it turns out, the surgeon would have liked to see my eyes out of contacts for another week or so, but that he'd told her not to schedule any more same day surgeries. Which basically meant, he didn't feel like doing another surgery that day. Because he didn't want to do another one meant that I wouldn't have been able to get it. Well, thank the Lord for a good eye doctor and consult lady who were eager to help me and make sure my eyes were in good enough shape to have it done that day [aka: wanted to take my money]. 

The consult lady gave me instructions to go have some lunch, drop of my prescription at the pharmacy, do a little shopping, and then come back later that afternoon for the surgery. I kept asking for a time. 1 o'clock? 3 o'clock? 3:30? I like to know when I'm supposed to be somewhere so I can at least try to be on time, you know? But she only gave me a general, "once your eyes have gone back down to normal from the dilation." Landon asked her too, but only got the same with the addition of, "get some lunch. Do some shopping." Well thanks. Since my initial surgery time had been scheduled for 1 -2 that afternoon we just kept that in mind as we waited for my eyes to go back to normal. 

We left the office and headed to lunch at The Cheesecake Factory. On the way we stopped at the jewelry store to have my rings cleaned. There isn't one near where we live, so we figured we may as well drop them off to be cleaned that afternoon while we were so close. Landon left his as well and then we went to lunch. It was so good! We had a little date and enjoyed a meal sans kiddos, and of course ended the meal with some cheesecake. Carrot cake cheesecake? Um, yes please! 

After lunch we walked around the mall, while waiting for my eyes to go back to normal. There is a super fancy mall in that area [like they have all the expensive shops and stores that we'd never actually buy anything from]. We went into the Pottery Barn and tried out some couches where it was quickly decided that we could never ever actually buy anything of theirs. haha. I saw that there was an Anthropology, a store I'd only ever heard about and knew it was super nice and super expensive. Of course I had to go in and take a look for myself. While most things were on the expensive side, there were a few things that were normally/affordably priced. Also, who knew they had such cute and affordable kitchen wares?! Maybe you did if you shop there. I saw an adorable little mug and suggested that it would make a really great Christmas gift [I start early ;] and Landon told me to just get it and then hide it from myself until Christmas. haha.

We walked around for a little while longer then realized that it was nearly 3:30, my eyes were back to normal so we thought we should head back to the office so I didn't miss my "appointment/turn." Landon dropped me off and headed back to the coffee shop to work; I checked in and waited. The room was a lot more full of people at this point, so I was 'just people watching, the other people watching me' [bonus points if you know where that's from]. I read, watched the cartoon they had playing, and politely eaves dropped on other people's conversations and chitchatted with them. Cause that's what you do in a waiting room, right? After I'd been waiting for about an hour I asked Stephanie if she knew about how much longer it would be and she just said, "Oh, not much." At this point it was about 4 o'clock. Why couldn't these people give me a straight answer?!

Time kept ticking by and realized we wouldn't be back to Landon's parents house in time for dinner like we had originally thought. I was getting anxious and missing the boys like crazy - that was the longest I had ever been away from them [and yes, I know I have separation issues]. Thankfully I knew they were being well taken care of and Landon's sister, Lauren, was really good about sending me texts and pictures and such to keep me updated. I love her. I kept her updated too on when I thought I might be having surgery, thankfully they were really understanding [and didn't mind at all] that we would be gone a little longer. I mean, time with just the boys? No having to share them with us? No Oliver wanting his mama because when I'm around that's all he wants? At one point Lauren FaceTimed me and it was so good to see the boys eating their snacks and just playing.

Finally, I was called back, we paid, and then I was taken to the waiting room for surgery. There were only two men ahead of me at this point and then it was my turn! Shortly after going into that waiting room I discovered the option for having valium, apparently it makes it so you just don't care about anything [like the fact they are about to peel your eyes wide open and then laser your eyeballs]. Both of the men had gotten some and were sitting happily in the room. When I was talking to Landon about maybe getting one or not, the older guy said, "Get it! I did! I feel great!" So off Landon went to get a prescription filled. I only wish we had known about it earlier; by the time Landon got back with it and I took it, there was hardly time for it to kick in. Actually, there was no time for it to kick in. I took it and about ten minutes later it was my turn.

glamor shot :}

They took me into the cold operating room, set me up, gave me a Buzz Lightyear doll to hold onto, and then they started. The surgeon gave gruff instructions to me and the nurses, his voice hard to hear and understand. He peeled my eye lids back and prepped me for surgery.

The medicine had not kicked in.

And I really wished it had. But it wasn't working and I was having a slight panic attack. As the surgeon worked, I know it didn't take but minutes, seconds really on each eye, but it felt like an eternity. The way it felt, what I could and couldn't see, the sounds, the smells. My senses were going into overdrive and I was breathing hard and fast and squeezing Buzz so tight. so so so tight. I tried to distract myself and make myself think about something else, the only thing that came to mind was, "Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so... Jesus loves me, this I know..." so I sang it [in my head] over and over and over. After what seemed like forever had passed and he was finished with the first eye, I didn't want him to finish and do the second eye [but I did, and he had to]. Once again, "Jesus loves me, this I know" sang on repeat in my head while he worked on my other eye.

Those were some of the most terrifying and longest minutes of my life. Truly truly. Next to waiting to hear Oliver cry after delivery, waiting for the nurses and doctors to find Emerson's heartbeat after my water broke, and waiting for Oliver's rash to go down, for him to cry tears, they were the longest seconds of my life. It was the most horrific thing I have physically endured and gone through. Oh my gracious. I got a lifetime warranty of touchups with the Lasik package I got - um. Never using it. Ever.

By the time we talked with the surgeon afterwards and gotten in the car, I was loopy [thanks for nothing medicine...] and I fell asleep on the drive back to Landon's parent's house.

We got back to their house at about 8 o'clock that night. A lot later than what we had initially been told and anticipated. But, at least I had been able to have the surgery that day and it was over. When we got back, the boys were happily roasting marshmallows with GeGe and Poppy and their aunties. They were freshly bathed and in their jammies. Hugs from them were never so sweet. I only saw them for a few minutes before they went to bed for the night - and even though my vision was a little fuzzy - I could see them without my contacts or glasses. It was incredible. I am so so thankful we were with family; Poppy, GeGe, and Landon's sisters helped Landon get the boys to bed for the night while I laid on the couch.

Before going on the trip, we had planned to leave the morning after the surgery once my follow-up appointment was over. But when I woke up in the morning, Landon told me his mom had offered/invited us to stay all day so they could look after the boys and I continued to recover. I didn't even think about it, yes, we were going to stay the day. I love his family. I love how they have become my family. I love how they love our boys [and us].

Landon took me for my follow-up appointment that morning, then we spent the rest of the day with his parents and sisters. Thankfully the appointment that day was only a few minutes long and we were out of there in no time. I was so glad we stayed the extra day, I was able to see the boys all I wanted to, but also get all the rest I needed when I needed it without having to worry about the boys.

sweet boy wanted to read with me 

In the end, I'm glad I had it done, it's amazing to wake up in the middle of the night and be able to see without reaching for my glasses. I'm still getting used to not having to put my contacts in every morning or take them out each night. But my eyes feel great and the bruise I got in one eye has mostly disappeared.

And that's my story about the time I had Lasik.


Lindsay at Lindsay'sSweetWorld said...

AAAAHHHH I've been waiting for this! Girl, I felt like I was right there with you in the surgery the way you described all of this. I cannot believe that they do this while you're wide awake! I had no clue. I thought for sure that they put you under. Holy moly. If I ever decide to do this then I will definitely be grabbing some valium first. Lol. So glad that you can see now, though! I would love to not be able to wear contacts!

Amy said...

I'm so glad that everything worked out. I never realized how the procedure actually went. It's pretty scary. I'm so, so glad that you are okay!